As I read the weekly post from BabyCenter, a blog about child development, I am drawn to the following paragraph about a typical 3yr old:
"... is trying to cope with an amazingly complicated world. Most tantrums are born out of frustration (she doesn't have the skills to do what she wants to) or disappointment (she has little control over any of the decisions about her day). All you can do is decide how to respond."
Isn't this true of many adults? Those that have never learned how to deal with life when situations just don't go their way. Their mental noise keeps telling them it's someone else's fault, and their behavior reflects nothing short of a victim of life itself. Typically lonely, they manipulate those around them ensuring no true connections are made, other than enablers who help to perpetuate their (underdeveloped) behavior.
These people have failed to notice patterns in their lives (we all have them) that could have taught them a lot about themselves if they were willing to listen. There is a disconnect between mind and body.
Unlike a 3yr old, an adult has control over their decisions and can learn how to effectively communicate their needs... if they so desire. The Center for Nonviolent Communication is one place I'd recommend. Of course, hypnotherapy is another very effective tool to help this person truly understand their heart-centered needs (vs. current ego-centered), and how they can meet them without placing demands on others. There are many resources out there for those who recognize it is their response to the outside world that is the cause of their suffering and not much else.
If you must cross paths with such a person, just let them go through their usual phase (usually predictable). There is really nothing you can do to save them from the internal prison they've built. Besides, nothing you do will be good enough, and that is no reflection on you, but what they've convinced themselves of. We cannot help those who won't help themselves.
Some people like this will see the light at some point in their lives, but others will not. All you can do is decide how to respond.
6/4/10
Are you Nervous or Anxious?
Most people get nervousness and anxiety confused. Those that like to deliver their stories with a certain level of entertainment, might frequently use the word "anxiety" to express an intense sensory experience at a particular situation. Up-play is the term I like to use here. Then there are others who downplay their experience and use the word "nervous" to describe their intense sensory experience, which might very well be as a result of that same situation. Very few know the difference between those two experiences, but you will after this.
Why the up-play and down-play is for a separate post to follow (stay tuned), but here's what's going on now.
Each of us has a different experience to similar situations because of our internal dialog. The better self-connected we are, the less outside influences distract us from our priorities.
Nervousness is best described as a temporary bout of jitters much like when you first learned how to drive a car. It's the fear of the "not yet familiar" (unknown) whereby the level of nervousness decreases substantially with duration of practice because it's becoming familiar. At the start of your driving lesson, you may feel nervous, but as you drive, the smallest of victories increases your confidence. You are many times more confident at the end of that lesson and less nervous next time around.
Anxiety disables you in a way that prevents you from experiencing small victories in the first place. It's that moment in time when your body feels stiff, breathing becomes difficult, and your mind is racing. At that driving lesson, you're stop and go, causing traffic jams, and forgetting to do even the most basic maneuvers (oxygen is not getting to the brain). Over time, your body associates that disabling situation with intense physical fear. It doesn't get easier unless an intervention takes place.
Imagery helps to dismantle those frightening associations. The fastest and most economical way to solve the anxiety problem is through hypnosis.
Why the up-play and down-play is for a separate post to follow (stay tuned), but here's what's going on now.
Each of us has a different experience to similar situations because of our internal dialog. The better self-connected we are, the less outside influences distract us from our priorities.
Nervousness is best described as a temporary bout of jitters much like when you first learned how to drive a car. It's the fear of the "not yet familiar" (unknown) whereby the level of nervousness decreases substantially with duration of practice because it's becoming familiar. At the start of your driving lesson, you may feel nervous, but as you drive, the smallest of victories increases your confidence. You are many times more confident at the end of that lesson and less nervous next time around.
Anxiety disables you in a way that prevents you from experiencing small victories in the first place. It's that moment in time when your body feels stiff, breathing becomes difficult, and your mind is racing. At that driving lesson, you're stop and go, causing traffic jams, and forgetting to do even the most basic maneuvers (oxygen is not getting to the brain). Over time, your body associates that disabling situation with intense physical fear. It doesn't get easier unless an intervention takes place.
Imagery helps to dismantle those frightening associations. The fastest and most economical way to solve the anxiety problem is through hypnosis.
4/6/10
How can I stop being so anxious?
I am frequently asked this question, so I thought it might help others if I posted the answer.
Answer: Energy Healing to relieve obstacles in your body followed by a daily mindful practice, like Active Meditation, works well at helping you heal naturally from whatever ails you.
Our bodies are very intelligent, but we are so distracted by noise (cell phone, radio, tv, stress) that we are unable to "hear" signs of distress. Instead, we notice a "problem" and we want it fixed like all other problems in our lives, but your body doesn't work like that. Your "fix" might work right now, but it's usually a very short-term solution, and you'll be back complaining about the same thing or some other problem.
Energy work can typically relieve the obstacles in order of priority (in this case, anxiety) and open pathways to better energy flow. This particular tension usually concentrates in the solar plexus (above navel), but not always. I sometimes see it in the heart area or in the neck/shoulders. It doesn't matter where it's held, it always goes away.
Thereafter, a mindful practice, like Active Meditation, puts you in control of your intentions (energy/thoughts/actions). Each day you get to practice Active Meditation on a specific intention. You might want the first one to sound like this, "I desire and intend to be mindful of my health and total well being." Of course, the more specific you are the better. When that intent is accomplished, you can move on to your next one. Oh yeah, there will be lots more once you start seeing the results!
Mindful Self-Care is the new Health Care.
Answer: Energy Healing to relieve obstacles in your body followed by a daily mindful practice, like Active Meditation, works well at helping you heal naturally from whatever ails you.
Our bodies are very intelligent, but we are so distracted by noise (cell phone, radio, tv, stress) that we are unable to "hear" signs of distress. Instead, we notice a "problem" and we want it fixed like all other problems in our lives, but your body doesn't work like that. Your "fix" might work right now, but it's usually a very short-term solution, and you'll be back complaining about the same thing or some other problem.
Energy work can typically relieve the obstacles in order of priority (in this case, anxiety) and open pathways to better energy flow. This particular tension usually concentrates in the solar plexus (above navel), but not always. I sometimes see it in the heart area or in the neck/shoulders. It doesn't matter where it's held, it always goes away.
Thereafter, a mindful practice, like Active Meditation, puts you in control of your intentions (energy/thoughts/actions). Each day you get to practice Active Meditation on a specific intention. You might want the first one to sound like this, "I desire and intend to be mindful of my health and total well being." Of course, the more specific you are the better. When that intent is accomplished, you can move on to your next one. Oh yeah, there will be lots more once you start seeing the results!
Mindful Self-Care is the new Health Care.
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